


If it wasn't for you

by ravenadottir



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Developing Relationship, Dominance, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Light BDSM, Pre-Relationship, Sarcasm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24522997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenadottir/pseuds/ravenadottir
Summary: Your story definitely started the moment you saw him, on the coping, talking, enjoying the sun, carefree. He made sure you knew he wasn’t there to play games, and because you weren’t either, you were the perfect couple.Lucas was always portrayed as the posh, indifferent and selfish boy in the Villa. But since you had the first deep conversation with him you knew there was more, way more to him. It was easy for you to see it, even though the others couldn’t.So many bumps in the road took you to say yes to him, and to get first place, winning the money prize. It’s time to go home, and face reality, sharing your life with him.This is the story of Lucas, outside of the Villa.***on hiatus***
Relationships: Blake/Lucas Koh, Henrik/Lucas Koh, Hope/Noah (Love Island), Lucas Koh/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	1. Indecision

###  These are his answers on a shared Rocco/Lucas route.

**On the morning of day 6** , after arriving with Henrik, getting dates with Hope, Priya and you, and having a Welcome Party with all the other islanders, Lucas receives a text to answer a few questions in the Beach Hut. Perked up, and leaving Henrik by himself on the daybeds, he opens the door with a grin.

“Hey…” you’re walking by just in time to steal a smile before he goes in.

“Hi.” He shoots you a smoldering look and nods, casually. “What are you up to?”

“Well, you’re going in there, alone, so… nothing.” You shrug with a smirk.

He squints with a light hiss. “Oh, you’re my kind of trouble, aren’t you?”

“I guess we’ll find out…” you turn on your heel, walking towards the kitchen, but not before winking at him, strutting in the opposite direction.

Lucas whistles under his breath, closing the door behind him as he takes a seat in front of the camera. “Hey… I’m Lucas… and I’ll be answering some questions you sent.” Grabbing the stack of cards from the table in front of him, he adjusts his open shirt, showing just a little skin. Clearing his throat and grinning, he reads the first one. “How does it feel to be a bombshell in a full Villa? And how are the islanders treating you?”

He taps the question on his palm, looking pensively at his lap, for a moment.

“Well… it’s overwhelming to arrive late at the party. Everyone is coupled up and…” he trails off, narrowing his eyes. “I don’t know. It feels like we’re not gonna be friends with the boys any time soon. I think we can all agree the boys are not necessarily welcoming. At least not as the girls… that Gary bloke…” he puffs. “Talk about insecurity… we couldn’t even talk to the girls alone, at least two of them would pop out of nowhere.”

With a shrug, he puts the card down, finishing his thought. “If one of the girls feel inclined, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

With a sarcastic flourish, he reads the next question, immediately smirking. “You had three dates on your first day. How are you feeling about the girls?” he chuckles. “Listen, I’m all for loyalty with friends and everything, but the girls are incredibly fit… most of them are big trouble, and I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m all about that.” Lucas’ lips perch before he continues. “I’m not gonna cross a boundary, but if they’re interested, I’m not exactly gonna stop them from choosing me, or choosing them at a recoupling just because feelings will be hurt. This is why we’re here for.”

He puts the card on the table, moving on. “Is there anyone you’re particularly interested in?” he raises a brow at the camera, crossing a leg and scratching his jaw. “Absolutely… I can’t deny the girls are attractive, but there are a couple of them who caught my eyes, and one is just…” he licks his lips. “She’s… different. So far, she made sure Henrik and I would feel comfortable. That’s way more than the others did… besides, you can tell she’s the kind of girl that gets what she wants, and I rate that.” His smirk reaches his eyes. “I really rate that…”

Lucas puts the third card on the stack, moving on to the fourth and final question.

“Do you think you’re gonna make a lot of friends in the Villa? If you do, do you think they would be your friends on the outside?” he exhales sharply. “I… I sure hope so. You know…” he stammers but quickly recomposes. “I’m all about making new friends, and I think there’s a possibility of a great friendship with Henrik…” he tips his head to the side. “He’s… he’s alright. I’m sure we can manage to stay friends on the outside. We both came in at the same time, so he knows how it feels to be new and kind of… misplaced… so, yeah.”

He cuts himself short, and with a flash of the green light from the screen, he shoots the camera a killer smile, getting up and walking out.

\--

**On the morning of day 7** , Lucas enters the Beach Hut, quietly. He takes a seat, fluffing one of the cushions behind him, and leaning back on the pillow, he takes the cards with a sly grin on his face. “Let’s do it!” The first card sends a genuine smile on his lips, but he quickly recomposes and keeps a neutral expression.

“How are you feeling about the Rocco situation and the fact he cheated on his partner?” he scoffs. “Ha! It’s well deserved what he’s getting! What kind of desperate, needy person goes after the other four people? Not only he betrayed the trust with the girls, but he’s definitely on thin ice with a few of the boys. And yes, I’m including myself in this list!” he tosses the card on the table, grabbing the second one, but before he reads it, there’s a sad laugh under his tone. “What kind of moron gets a girl like that and throws everything away for a fling? And I might add here, a fling with Marisol.” A crease grows between his brows. “Just… you know… he has this amazing, caring partner, that always tries to make everything ok, make sure everyone is getting along, and what does she get in return? Rocco.” He mutters. “For fuck’s sake…”

Taking a deep breath, he starts reading the second and final question. “What did you think of the Kiss and Tell challenge? How would you rate the kiss you got?” he licks his lips with his signature smoldering look at the camera. “Rocco is surely missing out… when the boys agreed it was her…” Lucas hisses, tipping his head back. “I don’t wanna sound cress, so I’m just gonna say this. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would... She definitely surprised me with that kiss. I don’t think I’ll be able to let it slide… She was already the girl I liked most and, now, I have no doubts. Besides, she deserves better…”

He gestures to himself with a cunning smirk. As the light flashes, he gets up, nodding at the camera, leaving and closing the door behind him.

\--

**On the afternoon of day 8** , Lucas receives a text. He heads to the Beach Hut and opens the door. The camera catches a small glimpse of your head, and it’s possible to see your smile. His laugh is contagious, and he nods at you.

“I just know you’re up to something…”

“Lucas… I wanna be up to something… you’re the one holding back.” You wait for an answer, but he’s flustered.

He shakes his head but can’t stop grinning. “You’re… you’re really pushing…”

Your voice drops to a low tone. “Oh… you haven’t seen half of it…” He exhales sharply from his mouth, luring a chuckle from you. “What…? Cat got your tongue?”

“Girl. You don’t even… get out of here before I do something stupid.”

You laugh on your way to the dressing room, shooting him a wink, letting him step in the Beach Hut.

Lucas watches as you leave, shuddering, then settles on the small sofa, buttoning down his shirt. “It’s really hot today, innit?” as he looks at the stack of cards, he sighs and picks the first one.

“What did you think of the Mr. Love Island contest? Were you upset you lost the title?” his brows raise as he shakes his head. “No… Like we said before, the OG boys have the advantage of history. It wasn’t meant to be me or Henrik, and I doubt Rocco had any chance… but it was fun… I managed to hit Lottie in the face with an egg, so I’m not all upset about the outcome.”

He laughs heartily. “And Henrik in that glitter was a revelation… and I can’t deny Gary pulls off the red speedo quite nicely.” He lets out another laugh. “Bobby in a dress was worth the contest.” The card goes to the table as he picks a new one.

“After last night voting, how are you feeling about Henrik possibly leaving the Villa?”

Lucas pinches the bridge of his nose, then rubs his eyes, cards still in hand. His tone drops to a gloomy one as he continues. “I… it’s not fair… I’ll be honest. I don’t think it’s fair for any of them, besides Rocco, to leave. But if I could choose, there’s no way I would let Henrik go. He’s a great friend and people like him in here, but I guess, again, history will have an advantage over him.”

He sighs, a little deflated, muttering under his breath. “It’s not fair…”

With a hold of the third card, he runs his eyes on it, a couple of times, before enunciating the question. “How is your relationship with the girls going? Is there anyone else you would consider to couple up besides your first option?”

Lucas is taken aback, even though he read the question a few times. “I…” he stammers for a couple of phrases but manages to get a hold. “It’s all going well, I guess. I’m not as close to them as I am to the boys, surprisingly. They seem more relaxed now, and are way more welcoming, despite some of them seeing me as a threat.” He smirks. “On the second part of this question… I think I see another girl as a possibility. I came in with three people in mind, and as the days went by, I’m reducing that number…”

His head tilts to the side as his gaze roams on the card, again. “Yeah… if I had to choose someone else, because she doesn’t see me as a prospect, then… probably Hope. But she’s not my first option. Definitely not the girl I wanna couple up with.”

As quick as the green warning comes, he gets up from his seat, heading out.

\--

((On the morning of day 9, Lucas woke up next to you, on the daybeds, after you shared it when Rocco and Henrik left))

**On the afternoon of day 9** , Lucas enters the Beach hut, quietly. As he sits on the small couch, he rubs his temples with a long, deep sigh. “Alright… what do we have here?” examining the cards, he goes to the last one, reading it silently before enunciating it.

“How do you f-feel about Henrik leaving?” he rolls his eyes. “Like I knew I was gonna feel when I heard his name. He was doing everything right, and I can’t say I find it fair. He has more chances than the other bloke that stayed, and I don’t exactly see him leaving with a girlfriend. If he does… there’s not much I can say about the girl.”

He looks at the camera, almost as if he regretted his words immediately.

“I don’t… wanna sound bitter. But just… I’m gonna miss Henrik, that’s all. We came in together and we were there for each other while the others were feeling too cornered… or too threatened to be our friends. We became close… it’s hard to be happy for a bloke I don’t even talk to.”

As he leans over the table and drops the card, he reads the next one.

“The Twitter Bingo challenge had some sparks going off. What did you think of the revelations? Were you offended by Gary’s accusation?” he licks his lips, clenching his jaw. “I don’t think the biggest problem was Gary thinking I’m a playboy or a player. The fact that he sneaked around with Lottie, but was upset about Marisol and Rocco is simply hypocritic. No one knows what happened, and no one is asking about it. To me, that’s…” he shakes his head with a tone of disapproval. “That’s not how this works. You talk, you fight, you move on. That’s how it’s supposed to be.” He shrugs with indifference. “Now, about the player thing, I don’t think I’m surprised to hear Bobby’s name. The bloke surely doesn’t talk or share a lot about his life. Thing is…” he pauses, frowning, staring at the ceiling in a pensive manner. “He might be perceived as a player because of that. They say Ibrahim is the closed off one, but Bobby is just loud. He does keep his own life to himself. I mean, he has a sister... no one knew about that. What else don’t we know?”

With a final sigh, he moves on to the third question, scratching the back of his head as he reads it. “How are you feeling about the next recoupling?”

With a smirk, Lucas squints, letting a long hiss escape his lips, raising his brows to the camera. His voice is calm but there’s a hint of joy in it. “I’m excited about that… I’ve been waiting since the first day I came in. I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but if she chooses me, then… oof…”

He exhales sharply from his mouth, shooting a knowing look at the camera as he bites his bottom lip. The card goes on the small stack on the table and he waits for the signal to leave.

\--

((On the afternoon of day 9, there was a chance for a date, and at the recoupling, you picked him. After getting yourselves ready to bed, you received a text informing one couple could take the Hideaway, and of course, you took it, spending the night with him, in private))

**On the morning of day 10** , Lucas’ phone rang, warning him to enter the Beach hut, and answer questions from the public, regarding day 9.

He enters the room, sweaty, with a towel draped on his shoulders. “Sorry for the mess, but we were working out just now…” he smirks, winking at the camera as he leans over to pick up the stack, his chest and stomach dripping. “Alright. First question.” He wipes his forehead with the small towel, flushing even more as he reads the card.

“How did you feel sharing the bed with a girl, not being coupled up? Is she still your first option?” he chuckles under his breath. “It felt pretty great. I didn’t think it was gonna flow so naturally. When she asked me about sharing a bed, I honestly tried to look unbothered, but… yeah, I don’t think I fooled anyone. And I might add here, and please…” he looks at the camera with a tilted head. “Don’t get me wrong, Henrik, but she’s a much better sleeping pal… just saying…” Lucas laughs at his own joke, throwing the towel on his upper arm and reading the next question.

“How did you feel about the recoupling? Would you change anything? Was your current partner the person you wanted to pick you? Yeah! Absolutely. Although, yesterday, in the morning, a different girl approached me and I had to say “no”… it was kind of weird, because she never really said anything regarding her feelings, and suddenly, she came over to talk to me about it… I wasn’t going there… not after what happened.” He looks pointedly at the camera. “I don’t see myself with someone like Marisol. She’s beautiful but she mixes up fierceness with selfishness, and I can’t rate a girl that does that. It’s one thing to go after what you want, but she didn’t have to act the way she did. And don’t get me wrong, I blame Rocco just as much. Neither of them had to act behind everyone’s back. My partner wasn’t even interested in Rocco that much, I think she wouldn’t mind him cracking on with Marisol…” he shrugs. “Anyway… the recoupling went exactly the way I wanted! It seemed like I was in here a lifetime before I got the chance to be with her, and now that I am… it’s even better than I thought.” He winks, sorting the next question.

“How was the Hideaway?” he laughs heartily, fanning himself with the card, his smirk turns into a genuine smile. “I don’t wanna be crass about it. I’m gonna say it was really nice sharing that place with her... and that’s all I’ll say.” He cocks a brow, moving on to the final question. “Do you see yourself on the outside with your partner? Whoa! You go straight to the jugular, don’t you? Oof…”

Lucas tips his head, cupping his own chin as he glimpses at the card, pensively.

“I… I think it’s too soon to think about that. We’ve only been coupled up for a day.” he opens his mouth to continue but stops himself. After a moment of pondering, shifting on his seat, he stammers, but manages to finish the thought. “I’m not saying it didn’t cross my mind… if we stay together and leave together, she’s gonna have to accept a lot of my ways… and that’s not for everyone. I’m not the typical guy like the blokes here. Noah, Gary, Bobby and Rahim want things from a relationship that I couldn’t care less about…”

He licks his lips, his voice stable.

“I don’t want what most of them want… and it’s not like I’ve talked about that with her… it’s too soon to even think about next week in here. Honestly! Time goes by in a very different way, so if you’re not careful, you’ll be talking about marriage before you know it! No!” he shakes his head, laughing. As the light flashes, he gets up with a smile, stepping out and closing the door behind him.

\--

((On the morning of day 10, Operation Nope was being revealed, a storm of drama brewing as Priya decided to make a pass on Noah, clearly crossing a boundary. She informed you about the plan and asked for your help, along with Bobby. They both thought it would be a good idea to test Nope’s loyalty. That all took place in the afternoon, before the Ministry of Sound party, that brought two new islanders: Chelsea and Jakub. The girl blabbed about Lottie’s secret kiss with Gary, confirming everyone’s suspicions on the matter. Tensions were running high))

**As day 11 started** , Lucas was already up early, after receiving the text to answer some questions. He saw you stirring under the covers, pulling them up to your chin, kissing your forehead before heading to the Beach Hut.

“Good morning…” he seems a little distracted, but still, manages to focus enough to grab the cards. “Alright, question one. “How are things in the Villa, after what happened with Priya and Noah? How do you think things will go from here?” Psh! I think it was inappropriate and I don’t fuck with that! People gave Rocco and Marisol a lot of shit, me included, just so she will go ahead and do the same? Nah… I expected more from her. Way more.”

He shakes his head.

“I do think Hope is gonna make sure Priya doesn’t forget about it so soon. As she should! I was kind of worried about her, yesterday…” he trails off. “She… she’s a cool girl. I know what the boys say and everything, about her relationship with Noah, but that means she likes him, right? If you like something, you care for it. That’s what she’s doing about him, I guess…”

Putting down the card, he reads the next one, with low energy. “How do you feel about the new islanders? Oof… I don’t even know…”

His face crumples into disgust as he says his next sentence. “That Jakub bloke… I-I… I didn’t think someone could be as insufferable as he is. I honestly wanted to shove his ironed socks down his throat! The guy doesn’t talk about anything else that isn’t himself.” He chuckles. “Gary gives me a hard time for being a private school brat, but even I am not that obnoxious… come on! And as for Chelsea…” his brows cock as he stares at the question. “She only made everything worse by saying those things, but it’s not her fault. If Gary and Lottie hadn’t kissed, there wouldn’t be anything to gossip about. Besides…” his expression crumples with annoyance. “They were acting like we didn’t know about it, already. Please!”

Gripping the third card, he smiles, but brushes it off right after, thickening his voice. “How are you feeling in your couple? Were you concerned with the possibility of her going after Noah, with Priya? I wasn’t…” he stammers. “I wasn’t concerned… when she told us about it, I was a bit taken aback. If she had gone for him, I wouldn’t forgive her. That would’ve been the end. But that’s just one more thing we have in common. We’re both loyal to our friends, and that means I picked the right girl. She warned Hope and that’s all she could’ve done.”

With a sigh, his smile reaches his eyes. “I am happy about us, as a couple. We do have a lot in common, and I don’t think any girl that comes in can outshine her. That’s just a fact.”

Lucas shrugs with smugness, putting the cards together on the table in front of him. He leaves, shooting the camera a cunning smile.

\--

((On day 11, you managed to resolve the issues between Lottie and Chelsea, and Lottie and Priya, in the morning. Jakub chose his dates, taking Hope and Priya out. Lucas wanted to make sure you were both at the same place, regarding your relationship.))

**Day 12, morning.**

Lucas smiles, and as he waits for the screen to authorize him to start. The public could almost hear him humming a song.

“Alright…” the blue flashes and he sorts out the only card. “How are the tensions in the Villa? Is everything going back to normal?” he laughs with a smug expression, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Sure… all the girls are doing great amongst themselves. They’re all best friends and love each other! The boys love Jakub and are not at all pointing out Gary’s kiss with Lottie, in every opportunity they get…” he cups his mouth. “Me included… I can’t waste the chance…, and we all live in cotton candy land and everyone shits candy bars!”

He laughs under his breath, picking up a more serious tone, still somewhat sad. “Of course everything is still tense. The girls couldn’t find a way to understand each other, and if it wasn’t for my girl, they would still be fighting. Hope and Priya are still pretty distant, and it seems like Jakub might go after someone unexpected… at least that’s what he told me and Bobby…”

He tosses the card on the table, a little annoyed, rubbing his temple. The screen in front of him announces he can leave.

\--

((On day 12, in the morning, you heard Noah talking about his feelings for Priya, and making an observation about Jakub and Lucas, and how they’ve been glancing at Hope's way. The mud challenge happened in the afternoon, and at night, after Lottie and Gary won, they were rewarded with a night at the Hideaway. Chelsea got a text saying there was gonna be a recoupling on the next day, and the boys were choosing. On Day 13, Lucas talked to you in the morning, about the recoupling, and in the afternoon, the cake challenge took the Villa by storm. Well, you did. By eating the whole cake and getting his favorite shirt in the process. Disaster Recoupling happens, but Lucas and you end up together at the end of the night, whilst every other couple was mixed and matched))

**On the afternoon of day 14** , Lucas enters the Beach Hut, quietly, closing the door behind him, taking his place in front of the camera. All his smug ways, and sarcastic words were gone, and replaced by a silent, somewhat troubled, expression.

“First question. “How did you feel about your partner finding out about your secret at the mud challenge?” Lucas seems distracted. Enough to read the card a couple of times, before being able to answer it, now with a focused voice and face. “Erm… it was ok. I didn’t really mind.” With a low hand, he picks up the next one. “How did you feel about the cake challenge? Are you really giving your shirt to her?” hm…” he licks his lips, trying to force a chuckle, but it comes out slightly sad. “Yes. It was fun, and we should’ve won. And yes. I’m giving her my shirt.”

He puts both cards down and blinks a little too slowly, before picking up the next one.

“Were you afraid of having to pick someone else at the last recoupling? Did you get who you wanted?”

A long, deep, and vocal sigh escapes his throat as he leans back, fingers laced behind his head. His expression crumples multiple times between slightly sad, slightly confused, and finally, determined, once he goes back to his position. “I… I’m not gonna lie. I was having doubts… I was torn between her and Hope. To be honest, I even think Noah noticed a glance or two.” He exhales sharply from his mouth. “I just… nothing happened, and I wouldn’t go there unless we were coupled up, but now… now I know what I want. And I was happy I was able to choose her.”

Licking his lips, biting them with nervous energy, he picks up the third one.

“Are you nervous about the couples formed?” His answer is emphatic. “No. Why would I be? I’m coupled up with the girl I like. There’s no reason to be nervous.”

The card is tossed on the table and he waits, impatiently, for the light to flash on the screen. He fiddles with his fingers as his leg shakes with anxious energy. As soon as the color, in front of him, changes, he leaves without a word.


	2. Until the last day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the day you left to Casa Amor, to the day Lucas decided to tell you he loves you, there was much more than just a switch.

((Lucas had to say goodbye to you, as you and the girls were leaving for Casa Amor. Neither of you knew when you were gonna see each other again, but saying goodbye to him felt, somewhat, comforting. New people arrived in the Villa, and among them, one specific girl had her mind set on him, almost the entire time. The boys were chuffed, but not necessarily interested in them. Not all of them, at first.))

**On the morning of day 15** , Lucas enters the room, his expression unreadable. He had just shared the bed with one of the new girls, and she was showing some interest in him, more than the others were displaying at that point.

“Alright…” he sighs, picking up a stack of cards and examining it, as his voice comes out with a neutral tone. “How are you feeling with the new girls in the Villa? Any of them caught your eye?” he rolls his eyes then shifts on his seat, folding a leg on top of the other. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about all this. When she came into the bedroom and said they were leaving I…” he trails off, rubbing his eyes with unmeasured strength. “I don’t like this… I don’t like where this is going… a lot can go wrong…”

Picking up the second one, he glances at the door, as if he was expecting someone to come in, but quickly brushes it off, focusing on the card. “Question two. “Did you feel a connection with any of the new girls…? Is… Is there anyone you’re interested in after the Speed Dating?”

Lucas tries to keep his composure, rubbing his scruff, but ends up grunting, involuntarily. For a moment, he stares at the card, his eyes running on the words, over and over, until he stops, tapping it on his thigh, a deep crease growing between his brows.

“I don’t… I’m not interested. I’m…” his exhales become more frequent and he shuts his eyes. “I don’t feel much with anyone. That’s… that’s it. The new girls are… here…” he shrugs, but doesn’t toss the card, just slips it to the back of the stack in his hand.

“Third… “How did it feel to share the bed with someone new? How are you handling the fact that your partner is also… sh-sharing…” his jaw clenches as his nostrils expand, significantly. “… sharing a bed with someone different?”

He doesn’t hide how bothered he is, even though he tries his best by covering his mouth with his palm. Lucas bites his inner lip, chewing on it as he mutters the question, over and over. “… sharing a bed…”

The cards go on the table as he leans over, just enough to cradle his face in his hands, propping his elbows on his knees. He stays like that for a solid moment, before recovering his voice and responding, a little more centered.

“It wasn’t… It wasn’t good. I didn’t sleep and at some point, I had to get up and just kept…” he clears his throat. “… just kept wandering. I ended up on the daybeds and stayed there. I fell asleep but it was dawn already. The boys were running to the lawn and didn’t leave me be.”

His bitter tone changes into a gloomy mutter, before he answers the second part of the question. “And I… I can’t say I’m not feeling anything. Just knowing she’s in bed with someone else…” he raises his fist to his lips, almost automatically, a slight brighter tone of red spreads on his neck and cheeks. With his eyes shut, he keeps pounding his closed fist on the table, just enough to startle the sound and video operators in the room.

With a signal from the screen, he gets up and opens the door. A feminine presence can be heard, and the top of a head can be seen. The owner of the shiny, straight brown hair approaches him, her voice tender as she cups his shoulder. “Are you ok? You seem… like you need a friend.”

Lucas shrugs off her touch but continues to speak. “I’m not in the mood. I’m gonna take a shower.” He slams the door behind him, leaving the girl by the entrance of the Beach Hut, alone.

\--

**Day 16** , afternoon, Lucas enters the room, quietly. He takes a look at the couch for a little too long, as if he was contemplating the possibility of leaving. His shirt is buttoned up to his collar and when he sits, he avoids the camera, picking up the questions, reading the first out loud, without hesitation.

“Did you have fun in the Villa x Villa challenge? What was the funniest moment? And what was the best moment?”

After a deep breath, he stares at the card, visibly pensive. His voice has zero undertone. “I had fun. The boys were messing around and I think the kiss between Bobby and Gary was… the highlight of the challenge.” He sighs with a sad chuckle. “The funniest moment was probably Gary giving Erica the piggyback ride. The best moment…”

His head shakes as he taps the card on his temple. “It was seeing Emily with Jakub… I don’t rate the guy, and to be honest, I don’t think anyone in here does. And the fact that a girl like Emily fell for his charm is beyond me. So, whenever she took a shot at him…” he his lips curl into an impressed semi smile. “It was quite good.”

Grabbing the second one, he doesn’t take too long to respond it. His voice stays neutral, but his neck gains a blush color as he reads it. “What do you think your partner did on the challenge? Do you trust she’s being…”

He licks his lips, cocking his brows. “… loyal?”

The heel of his hand rubs his forehead, the tone of red deepening as he repeats the word under his breath. “Loyal… I don’t know.” He swallows dry, but manages to speak out loud, even if part of his sentence comes out through his teeth. “I don’t know… but from what I’ve seen… I don’t…”

His fingers run on his hair, taking the perfectly neat strands out of place, his breathing louder as his legs twitch. “We… we just got a video... it couldn’t be her. It just… it couldn’t be her. That’s not who she is.”

He shakes his head, perching his lips with denial, the twitch increasing its intensity. “I don’t buy it… she wasn’t like that here. We didn’t even… when she was with Rocco, we didn’t even… no... no.”

He tosses the card, with a shrug, but when the green light flashes on the screen, he doesn’t leave. He folds his arms over his chest, his tongue sticking inside his cheek, the rhythm of his breathing, heavier.

“I saw her on this… this video. I don’t think I can…”

His eyes get lost on the floor as if he was looking for the words scattered under his feet.

“I don’t believe she would do something like that. But it was her. It was, I saw it. The bloke had this… stupid grin on his fucking face… I just… I swear…”

His hand curls into a fist, and he pounds his knuckles on his mouth, a protruding vein on his temple. The crimson tone comes through his tanned skin, tension slumping his shoulders.

It takes him a long, dreaded moment to speak again. His voice, incredulous, but firm, comes out while he gestures with low hands.

“So, this entire time I’ve been loyal and she just… she just goes ahead and throws that away? What was she thinking?” he points to the door as if he could indicate the boy she was teasing. “Him!? Really? That guy?”

He laughs with disbelief, an angry, yet sad tone to his chuckle.

“She’s not the only one who can throw shit away...”

Lucas gets up from the couch, slamming the door behind him, a small landscape painting falls from the wall, hitting the floor with a soft thud.

\--

**On the afternoon of the day 17** , before the boys went through the ceremony of Stick and Switch, they were moved to a cabana, on the beach. Gary, Bobby, Rahim and Noah were doing everything they could to distract themselves from the seriousness of the moment, while Jakub was barking a joke at Siobhan, sitting on the sand.

A few of the girls were on the stretchers, but Lucas stayed behind, on the bar, drinking from a tumbler, his favorite scotch warming up his throat.

“Hey…” a sweet, yet determined, voice comes from behind him, he stays staring at the caramel liquid, jaw clenched.

“Hey.” His serious tone sends fake shudders through the girl, as she laughs.

“So… your phone was vibrating on the table. I think you’ve got a text.” He grabs the phone from her open palm, and she grazes his thumb on his hand. “If you need anything, I’m here.”

“Yeah. You made that very clear.”

“Good… what does the text say?” she cocks her head, trying to get a better view from the screen.

“Beach Hut.” He gets up from the wooden stool, following the path indicated in the message. The cabana’s back was reserved for the Confessional space. He enters, closing the door behind him, glass in hand.

There’s only one card on the prop table in front of him, teasing a sarcastic chuckle. “Hm… I wonder what this is.”

With a loud sigh, he picks it up, sipping on his drink and reading it.

“Have you decided what to do at the ceremony tonight?”

He bites his already crimson lips, and with a last gulp from his glass, he looks directly at the camera.

“Oh, yes.”

Getting up from the chair, he heads to the exit, leaving the door open, letting the public watch as he brushes his fingers on Blake’s arm, nodding to the other side of the beach.

\--

That night, before leaving for the Villa, Lucas made a decision. One that would affect not only the way people saw Blake, but also, how they saw him. When he enunciates his decision, at the firepit from the cabana, Gary and Bobby share a look. They didn’t need to conversate to understand what the other one was thinking, and Lucas’ words were enough to make them doubt his decision even more.

The fight during the morning didn’t exactly help anyone’s case, and even though Gary and Bobby were ready to defend you, it was a good thing Rahim and Noah intervened.

The three boys were out of control, and words, hurtful words, were spoken to each other.

With more determination than earlier, Lucas stands up and gives a brief, but concise speech.

“We might come in here, hopeful to find love, but at the end of the day, we can’t forget… this is a game. If others didn’t forget that, then neither will I. So, I want to switch. And the girl I wanna couple up with is…” he nods at her, neutral expression, his fingers laced behind his back. “… Blake.”

The girl gets up from the bench, beaming at him, throwing her arms around his neck. She goes for a kiss, and he turns his face, her lips catching his cheek. The boys share a look before applauding politely, the next one already getting a text, to go through the same.

Gary and Bobby shake their heads, as they see the exhilarated girl sit down with Lucas, searching for his hands. He folds his arms over his chest until the end of the ceremony, gritting his teeth, discreetly.

\--

**Afternoon of day 18.**

The text alerted everyone around. Curious faces, including yours, were searching for the source. You were by the daybeds with the boys, talking about frivolous subjects, in hopes to forget how mad you were.

“I’ve got a text!” Lucas’ voice resonated from the kitchen and you punched the thin mattress of the stretcher, trying as much as you could to not look at his direction. He went in, Blake in tow. She was perkily following him, and not even a minute later, she came back, doing her best to look natural, a trembling smile on her lips.

He walks in and with him, a tense energy, taking his seat on the small couch. For a moment, it looked like he was preparing himself to speak, but he cuts himself short, picking up the cards.

“How did it feel seeing your ex-partner coming back single?”

His lips perched as he avoided the camera. His eyes roamed to his fiddling fingers, slowly stopping as he tried to focus. An undertone of sadness was clearly invading his expression, one the public hadn’t seen yet, a crease between his raised brows. For a split second, the corner of his eye gleamed, but he wiped it as fast as he could, clearing his throat.

“What am I supposed to say…? I… I don’t know what to say…” he stares at the card for a long moment, torturing himself as he mutters the question over and over, shaking his head. “I didn’t think she was… I really didn’t…”

The words he said to you, the night before, were constantly buzzing in his ears.

“Just cause, I kinda thought you had recoupled too…” he mentioned the video, with anger, and finished his thought, rambling on things he thought he understood. “After that, I thought for sure you were going to recouple. It’s not like you and me were together for ages. I just thought… maybe I was more into it than she was. And it turns out, I was wrong.”

He can’t shake the feeling of defeat from that moment you said your answer, loud and clear. “You didn’t trust me.”

The feeling of guilt was immediate when he chose Blake, but now, the regret is catching up fast. The more he thinks about it, the more impatient and pricklier he becomes. Completely out of himself, exhausted from pretending this was fine by him. The thought of you coming back with someone else hurt him, but he never knew how much it would hurt to see you, disappointed.

He puts the cards down, burying his face in his hands, slowly letting himself go. For a minute, or ten, who knows, he raised his head, cheeks washed with regretful tears. But instead of speaking, through the weeping, Lucas was simply taking his time.

He was waiting for the calm to come on its own.

Picking the other card, he read, biting his lip with unmatched stress.

“Do you regret it?”

A brief, sad chuckle escapes his throat. His head tips back as he stares at the ceiling, trying to prevent the tears to roll to his chin. It was distant, and low, but the public heard it, loud and clear.

“Yes.”

Without another word, Lucas waits for the green to flash, and when it does, he bolts from his seat, slamming the door behind him, heading straight to the bathroom.

\--

**Day 18** , nighttime.

“The dumping is about to start!” Gary hurries you in the dressing room.

“Fine! Hold on! I’m coming!”

“How a bird can take so long!! You look fine, let’s go!”

Chelsea slaps Gary’s arm with a heavy hand. “She can’t look fine, boy!” she turns to you, with a smirk. “She has to look spectacular! And that’s that on that. Now, shoo! Shoo, shoo!” she gestures with both hands, shutting the door, leaving Gary out.

The ceremony starts once every islander reaches the firepit. Lucas and Blake walk the path and hold hands, sitting on the bench. As you walk in, arms linked with Chelsea, his gaze stays on you a little longer, eyes skimming every inch of your outfit, tightly gripping your curves, all eyes on you when you walk in.

You ignore him as you walk by his spot, taking a seat, crossing your legs. As you look at your side, Lottie, Gary and Bobby give you a knowing look, the boys’ gaze lingering on you, only focusing on the blazes of the firepit when you shoot them a cheeky wink.

Lucas’ grunt is low, but noticeable. The decision of ignoring it only makes everything more fun.

On your turn, you decide to save him, but with a brief, articulated speech, making sure he knows where he stands.

“We’re only friends.” You said, your attention on the flicker of the flames, fingers laced behind your back.

Not even Lucas, himself, thinks he looked so shocked or incredulous in his entire life. Everyone’s faces are beyond astonished. Jaws dropping and muttered words snap him from a trance, now walking to stand next to you, not a single glance back at his spot.

With bewilderment, he’s only able to look at you, and only you, eyeing the side of your face with undeniable admiration. He can’t help but be drawn in. You take your seat, focusing on the center of the flames, as before, not once glimpsing at him.

You can’t give what he wants. Not right now. The same way you decided to stick, you had to decide with your heart, to save him. And even if you feel insecure, you don’t know how to act any different. That’s who you are.

As much as you would like to just let go of your pride and kiss him, right there, you can’t. He has to pay for his mistake.

And you’re gonna make sure he does. As he tries to make small talk, you ignore him, speaking only the necessary.

You’re caring, not stupid.

In the kitchen, after saying goodbye to Priya, you follow the path to the gate, hugs and kind words to the ones leaving. Jakub insinuates a line and you pick it up, eagerly. “I’ll call you when I get out of here.”

“What? You will?” Lucas’ disgusted face was priceless, but well deserved, to say the least.

Sharing the bed with him is the best part. You make sure there are enough pillows between you, to not even hear what he says, before going to sleep.

\--

**Day 19, right after breakfast** , Lucas was summoned to answer questions, and for the first time in almost a week, he smiled in the Beach Hut, taking his seat on the couch.

He rubs his palms before picking up card by card, his voice joyful. “Alright! “How do you feel in your new couple? Were you upset by the Dumping ceremony?”

Brows cocked, he hisses with hesitation, before responding. “To be candid, I still can’t believe she decided to save me… I honestly thought I was gonna be gone, for sure! It’s…” he glances at the card, wistfully. “It’s just… I’m very lucky. I made a mistake and she decided to save me.” He pauses. “She’s a much better person than I am, that’s for sure. And as for the Ceremony, something was very clear to me. I wished for Hope to be gone, instead of Priya, despite what she’d done. She didn’t deserve to be dumped. But the way things were going here, during that time, it’s clear Noah needs some help.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I’m pretty sure Bobby saved Hope because that’s what Noah wanted… but that’s not what he deserves. And I’m really glad I didn’t put my money on her. I made the right choice.” His tone drops in volume. “Well… I fucked that up, but I… I made the right choice back then.”

With a sigh, he reads the next one, a gloominess creeping up on his eyes. “Do you think she can forgive you for switching? Do you want another chance?” yeah, straight to the jugular, I see!”

He tips his head to the side, searching for the words, trying to hide his beaten expression. “I really hope she can forgive me. Looking back at the time we had here, before Casa Amor happened, I just… I feel so senseless. I don’t know why I…” he trails off, running his hand on his hair, mumbling. “I… I do know why…”

With a discreet glance at the camera, he continues. “I would like another chance. She’s… she’s just so amazing… I never thought, in a million years, she could ever save me, and she did.”

He licks his lips, shaking his head. “She keeps proving me wrong… it’s… day after day, she just keeps proving me wrong. If she ever forgives me, or gives me another chance, I’m gonna… I won’t know what to say. I don’t think she will. She keeps saying we’re friends, and even though there’s a spark, I can’t be hypocritical. I said all those things about Rocco, and now, I made the same mistake. She deserves better…”

Lucas shrugs, putting the card on the table, reading the last one. “Is there anyone you would like to couple up with?”

He chuckles sadly, shutting his eyes for a moment. “No. I know how this is gonna sound, but… no. If I stay, it’s because she chose me. I can’t see myself going in any other direction. I knew it was gonna be hard, but I never imagined it was gonna be excruciating. You know, the boys…” he rests his chin on his fist, a certain tone of regret in his voice. “They tried to warn me. And I didn’t listen… I never listen. The things we said… and how unbelievably discourteous I was…”

Lucas’ eyes roam on the screen below the camera. “I’ve been fortunate enough to stay, I don’t think luck will strike twice. And I definitely don’t expect her to forgive and forget. She has the right to be disappointed.”

As the flash blinks, he gets up to leave, opening the door. The camera catches a glimpse of his conversation.

“Oh, sorry!” you bump into him, your shoulders grazing.

“Oh… it’s erm… it’s cool.” He lowers his brows. “So…” he hopes to get a certain answer as he proceeds. “What are you up to?”

“I’m just going to the dressing room, to get some suncream, then probably hit the pool.”

“Right…” he tips his head, trying his best to smile, but he has no idea how it’s coming across. “So, are you hanging out with someone?”

“Just Chelsea. And Shannon.” You keep your tone casual, folding your arms over your chest. “Why?”

“No, no reason. Just making conversation.”

“Right… anyway...” You turn your back, without waiting for a response. “I’m heading out. See ya.”

He waves, speaking out of earshot, his voice annoyed. “Wow… see ya.”

“Hey!”

Chelsea pops behind Lucas, startling him. He closes the door to the hut, turning to face her. “Hey.”

“Sorry, did I scare you?”

“No… a little. What’s up?”

“So… we were just talking by the pool…” she points to Shannon, who just waves, unbothered. “And I was wondering if you wanted to join us…”

“Erm…” he glances at you, coming out of the dressing room, your gaze on them. He speaks louder, with a grin, inexplicable hype. “You know what, I would love too, Chels. Let’s go.”

You furrow your brows, watching Lucas and Chelsea, walking side by side, to the lawn. Bobby waves from the kitchen, and you decide to have breakfast. Not before you narrow your eyes at Lucas’ attitude. He was never close to Chelsea, and definitely not up for “hanging out” with her.

After eating, you decide to walk to the firepit, and Chelsea beckons you. The conversation is weird enough, but once Lucas leaves for a snack, she cups her mouth to ask you something very important and gets shocked with your answer.

“Really?! You really wanna stay coupled with him?”

“Shh!! Chelsea!”

“Sorry… sorry…” she whispers, cocking her head, watching him in the kitchen.

“Anyway… I should make a couple of rounds… see you guys later.”

As soon as you’re out of earshot, or view, Chelsea sprints to the kitchen, finding Lucas behind the fridge door, bending over, hunting snacks. “Hey!!”

“Goddamn, Chelsea!! Again?” he clutches his chest, startled. “What? Who died?”

“Well… no one yet. Hear me out, we don’t have much time!”

“W-what is it?”

She leans over, cupping her mouth, whispering a piece of gossip that brings the biggest smile to Lucas’ face, since he chose you on the Disaster Recoupling. “Really? You’re not messing with me, are you?”

“Why would I ever?!” she cringes but folds her arms over her chest. “I do have to say something else, and you better listen to me!”

“What… did she say anything else?”

“No, this is coming from me.” She clears her throat, now jabbing a well-manicured finger on his chest, cornering him on the counter. “You listen to me, and you listen to me good! If you wanna be with her, then you better make sure you wanna be with her!” with continuous strokes from her finger, she continues. “Because that girl went through hell because of you! And if you’re not gonna take her seriously, then… then it’s better to leave it alone!”

“Chels…”

She raises a hand, cutting him short. “It’s your decision. She wants to forgive you, and she wants to let go of her anger, but if you’re not into it, if you’re not gonna make her happy, then… it’s better to make her sad, now, and end things...”

He shakes his head. “I… I wanna be with her.”

“Are you gonna make her suffer or are you ready to be with her?” she pauses, tipping her head. “Like… be with her. Are you ready for that? Because I know she is ready for you.” Before he could answer, she shakes her head, pointing to her own temple. “Just… think about it.”

Lucas drops the plate of snacks on the counter, not even taking a bite. He rushes to the door, heading to the gym. As Graham informs he just missed you, he heads back to the kitchen, panting from his run, finding you by the sink, filling up your water bottle. He tilts his head for a moment, watching your hair draped on your shoulders, gracefully. With hesitation, he opens his mouth, to speak.

“Hey…”

\--

**Afternoon, day 22** , right after the group breakfast in the bedroom, Lucas receives a text, summoning him to go to the Beach Hut. As he opens the door, you walk by, not noticing him.

“Hey…” he nods with a grin.

“Don’t “hey?” me…”

“Oh, sorry…” he smirks, getting closer to you. “What do you want me to do to you?”

You roll your eyes but can’t help a nervous laugh as his body presses against yours. “I’ll do anything you want, you know that, right?”

You bite your lip. “Really?”

“Oh… yes. Anything.”

“Then…” you lean over, your voice dropping to a whisper, feathering his lips. “Get off.” You push him with a smirk, heading to the dressing room, without looking back.

He hisses, shaking his head, watching you walk away, narrowing his eyes. As he closes the door behind him, he rubs his palms with a massive grin. Instead of taking a seat, as usual, Lucas plops on the small couch, taking the pile of questions from the table, shirt flapping with the light breeze, showing his chest and stomach.

“Alright! Question one. “What did you think about the new girls? Are you interested in any of them?” Pass! Elisa was quite interesting at first. Not that I was interested in her.” he pauses. “It’s just the way she built a brand by herself is pretty impressive. She’s young, and that shows how determined she is. But the whole drama thing… god!”

He raises his brows, his lips curling into disgust. “Talk about being childish and tedious! Hard pass! And that Jo one? Hard pass, too! The bird had the nerve to kiss a bloke on the first date and lie about it! For days! Dragging everyone into their messy disagreement!”

Lucas rolls his eyes, tossing the card on the surface in front of him. “Next! “Are things in the Villa more peaceful now? How is your relationship with the boys after the Dumping?” Well… not gonna lie. It was a little bit weird there. Bobby and Gary didn’t talk to me much… and we’re just going back to be… you know… friends.” He sighs. “I made a big mistake and they were just looking out for their friend. I know she’s the reason why they’re talking to me again. I think she convinced them.”

He laughs bitterly. “There’s no fucking way they would’ve forgiven me if she didn’t. The Villa is more peaceful, after that whole thing about the beach day, but still… it’s not like the boys were thrilled to let me participate. It’s going back slowly, I guess.”

Licking his lips, he reads the third one, smiling sincerely. “How was cooking with your partner?” Huh… it was good. It was… it was good. We never did that before, but I think it’s something we could do on the outside.”

He stops himself, chuckling nervously. “That is… if we leave together. She did say… I mean. I’m very lucky.”

Grabbing the fourth and final card, he tosses his head back with a relaxed laugh. “Who are you picking at the Recoupling?” Hm, I don’t know… I’m still considering my options.” He raises his fingers, counting his choices. “Noah is very attractive, but there’s not much spark as there is with Graham! I might go for the giant!” he laughs at his own joke, visibly excited. “We just had a chat, and she wants me to pick her… and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m not gonna waste another chance.”

He nods, smiling to himself. As the light flashes, he waves, leaving the Beach Hut.

\--

**On day 24** , you and Gary were awakened by texts, informing you about dates with new islanders. As you left, Lucas couldn’t sleep, heading to the lawn in his pajamas, pacing the areas, by himself.

Chelsea, still in her pajamas as well, walked out from the hall, finding him close to the gym entrance. “Hey…” her voice is drowsy, and she rubs her eyes. “What are you doing up?”

He shakes his head, gripping both sides of his waist. “I… couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Why? Where’s your girl?”

“She…” he glares at the green synthetic grass. “She’s on a date.”

“A date?! With who!?” she’s taken aback, staring at him, searching for his eyes.

“I don’t know. The text didn’t say anything.”

Chelsea narrows her eyes in a pensive manner. “Why don’t we… go to the kitchen? I’ll put the kettle on. We can talk about this.”

“I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“You’re so cute thinking you have a choice.” She laughs, turning on her heel, heading to the kitchen.

An hour goes by, and Lucas waits, anxiously, not believing his eyes. “Is that…?”

Henrik sprints towards his friend, throwing himself on a bear hug with Lucas. “Bro!!” they repeat the word, over and over, Lucas unable to believe in his eyes. “Bro!”

“I missed you, Rik! It’s so great to see you again, mate!” he ruffles his friend’s blonde hair, several strands out of place.

“There was a point where I thought you were going home. I might have missed you!” the climber grips his waist, smiling.

“I’m so hyped that we get to be together again!” Lucas glances from the corner of his eye, gesturing to you. “I see we still have the same taste in girls.” He drapes an arm on your shoulder and pulls you close.

“You understand, don’t you?” Henrik’s words come out apprehensive, his face crumpling in a frown.

“Yeah, yeah…” standing next to you, and fixating his eyes on Henrik, he licks his lips, jaw clenched. “Yeah, bro. Gotta do what you gotta do.”

He gives your shoulder a small squeeze, both boys’ gazes staying on you for a moment, before Bobby clears his throat, calling everyone’s attention. You were never so thankful for the pastry chef’s extra gene.

\--

**On day 25** , you and Lucas had a conversation about your relationship, and you revealed to him about Henrik, and his insistent grafting. It wasn’t easy for you to tell him, especially because they were so close, and your boy was so happy his friend was back.

However, this was weird and completely out of character. Henrik was always sweet and respectful, and this wasn’t him at all.

Lucas bolted from the daybed, after thanking you for telling him. You felt a little taken aback, but it needed to be said. Hopefully, Lucas would keep it civilized and talk to his friend. But by the look in his eyes, he was about to do way more than that.

Henrik is at the gym, lifting weights with Gary and Graham, as the two G’s bicker over sizes of something. They would always bicker about everything, so people just stopped paying attention.

Lucas walks in, staying by the entrance, arms folded. His eyes scan the whole space before he speaks, his voice grave. “Oi. Rik. Can we talk?”

“Huh?” he sees the glare in Lucas’ dark eyes, immediately getting up from the bench, dusting off his palms. “Sure, sure. What’s up?”

“Not here.” He nods at the secluded picnic tables, behind the kitchen, walking with his shoulders squared. Henrik follows, eying his friend, suspiciously. Chelsea and Lottie get out of their way, heading to the firepit, with the rest of the islanders. Gary and Graham join the group, watching as Lucas gestures, from a distance.

“So…” he stops, still with his arms folded over his chest. “I’m gonna ask you once, and I want a straight answer from you. Don’t lie.”

“Ok. What is it?” Henrik adjusts the strands of his hair.

“Are you grafting on her?”

“I’m…” Henrik twitches his leg. “I mean… that’s… why we’re all here.”

“No. I’m not asking about flirting, or talking about recoupling. She…” he lowers his voice, leaning over. “She just told me you’re being insistent.” Henrik’s eyes go wide as Lucas continues. “She’s creeped out by how much you’re grafting on her. Not only that, but…” he sighs through his nostrils, visibly uncomfortable. “I thought we were friends!”

“We are!”

“No. No. I’m not friends with a lad that thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants and get away with it! That’s…”

“I didn’t know… I didn’t know she was…” Henrik cocks his head, to see you laughing at something Bobby just said. “I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

“You better get a fucking grip, then! I’m not gonna stand and watch as you keep trying on her. She’s uncomfortable!”

“She’s… she’s uncomfortable?” Henrik’s eyes fall on you again. “I… didn’t think I was pushing… I just thought… like…” he rubs his forehead, putting locks of his hair behind his ears. “I just thought she had missed me. We had something before I left and then you…” he gestures to Lucas, a bitter laugh escaping his mouth. “You went there and… now you’re together.” Henrik cradles his face, then combs his hair back, several sighs of frustration as he avoids Lucas’ eyes.

“I know.” He takes a seat across the table, nodding slowly. “Rik… I just… you were gone. And you know how much…”

“I know. I do. She picked you. I saw your answers in the beach hut... I knew it was gonna happen, it was just a matter of time. But I just…” he rubs his lip with his thumb. “I just couldn’t watch, you know?”

“Yeah. I understand.”

“But I’m gonna…” his head hangs as he stares at his lap, his green shorts wrinkled over his thigh. “I’m gonna apologize to her. I didn’t mean to be so… aggressive. It wasn’t my intention.”

“Good. That’s all I want.” Lucas gets up from the bench, but Henrik stops him.

“Hey. Can I ask you something?”

“What.”

“Are you… you know…” seeing the confusion in his eyes, Henrik whispers. “Are you… in…?”

Just then, he sees you beckoning them to the firepit, since Hannah just got a text about a challenge.

“We’ll talk later.”

Henrik’s green eyes are filled with hope. “We… we will?”

“Yeah.” Lucas shoots the blonde boy a cold stare. “Way after you apologize to her and I tell her what I need to tell her.”

“Cool. Cool. That’s erm… that’s c-cool.”

\--

**Day 26** , in the afternoon, before the date at the Hideaway, Lucas gets in the Beach Hut, closing the door, carefully. The usual stack of cards awaits, and he reads the first one, immediately grinning. “What do you think about Ibrahim asking Jo to be his girlfriend?”

Lucas cackles, shaking his head. “Remember what I said about him, before Henrik left?” he tosses the card. “I stand by it.”

His face crumples into an amused and disgusted expression. “Let’s just move on. Poor Rahim doesn’t know where he’s getting into. “How did you feel after the Happily Ever After challenge? Do you see a life with your partner on the outside?”

He raises his eyes to the camera, remembering his words from the day before.

“After you told me about Henrik, I’ll be honest, I had some doubts. But this challenge has just proved to me that I’m with the right girl… I love you.”

He smiles, reminiscing on the kiss you shared right after you said “I love you” back.

“Definitely… I can see us, in my apartment, cooking.” He nods slowly. “I’ll probably try to boss her around, and she will not have it.” He laughs. “She won’t put up with my shit more than she already does.”

Putting down the card, he reads the final one. “How do you feel after the final recoupling? Did everything go the way you wanted?” can’t you tell!?” Lucas chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m… I never thought I would say this, but I’m thrilled. I am. Never would I imagine finding true love in a tv show, and especially like her.” he stares at the card, studying it for a moment, his eyes glistening with mischief.

“I’ve been thinking about something… and even though it was the dumbest thing Rahim ever did, he did give me an idea… I’m still thinking about it. But yeah… that’s what I wanted. To stay coupled up with her is definitely what I wanted.”

He scratches his chin with a smile, waiting for the green light. When it flashes, he opens the door.

The public can see you, passing by. “Hey…” he nods.

“Hey.” You nod back.

“So… what are you doing?”

You grin, biting your lip. “Hopefully, you, if you follow me to the cupboard.”

He hisses, narrowing his eyes. “You’re gonna get us in trouble...”

“I sure hope so…” you run your fingernail on his chest. “As long as I get what I want.”

He shakes his head, grinning, closing the door behind him.


	3. Overdue

Your feet dangle in the pool for a few moments, rippling the water away. Lucas is off to get a drink for you to toast, and you feel as lightheaded as you felt when you first came in.

You won.

Memories from the first few days, rush in your mind. You reminisce on the important moments you spent in the show. The nerves getting to you on day one. The line of the boys in front of you, ready to step forward, already flirting way too much.

It was exciting, and you were hoping to find someone, but you never thought it was gonna be like this.

It took five days, and a lot of drama, to meet him. He had his feet in the water, just like you as you remember the first time you saw him, talking to the other new boy. His deep voice sent a shudder through your skin as he spoke.

“Tell me about it. I can’t wait to meet the girls.”

There’s no denying the beauty and hotness from the boys you met before, but none of them really made your heart jump out like he did.

It felt like the sun was punishing you by glistening on every little droplet on his arms and chest as you approached him. He gave you a smile before a smoldering look and that’s all it took.

To go through everything you did, the fun, and not so fun parts, was worth it. It does pain to see the firepit, now filled with islanders, drinking and talking, but a few days earlier, it was the place you saw him, coming back with a decision made, holding hands with it.

One that hurt you deeply, and you’re not sure how to deal with that pain. The Finale party has every single islander you’ve met so far, including her. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it has only been less than two weeks since that day.

You remember perfectly well how tight your heart was when you saw them walking in through the doorway, hands held. Your hands grip the grass as your mind wonders.

You don’t even notice he’s taking a seat next to you, also dipping his toes, handing you a glass of champagne, then letting his own feet dangle in the pool as well, the legs of his pants rolled up.

“What’s on your mind?” Lucas pecks your forehead, carelessly.

“You. Always.”

“How romantic.” he gives his signature smoldering look for a second, then chuckles. “I honestly didn’t think we’d be here now…” his gaze roams on the night sky as he sips from his drink.

“What do you mean?”

He sighs, sliding his finger on the stem of the glass. “I should say what I’m about to say, when we’re alone. But I wanna to do this properly, so, everything stays where it needs to stay.”

“Ok… now, I’m scared.” You feel a tremble in your hand.

“No… it’s not what you think. I want to apologize to you… properly.”

“I’m sorry?”

Lucas turns to face you, tipping his head to the side, his tone lower. “You said you forgave me, and I believe you. But if we’re going to be together, a proper couple moving in, then I need to apologize. And I need you to listen to everything I have to say.”

“Babe, I don’t know…”

“Please.”

“Ok. My lips will be sealed for the next… 5 minutes?”

“This is serious…” he chuckles sadly.

“I can see that. Ok, go on.”

He takes a deep breath and gets a hold of your hands, grazing his thumb on the inner portion of your wrist. “That morning you and the girls were gone, I didn’t even know what to think. We got the text saying new girls were coming in, and my first thought was “I can’t fuck this up”.” his head hangs for a moment as he stares his own lap. “I wasn’t interested in them. Some seemed nicer than others, but still, I was thinking about you. The first day went by, and they had to choose who they wanted to sleep next to… the boys thought it was best to let them decide, anyway.”

“Oh… Lucas, I really… really don’t need to hear this.”

“You absolutely do. I need to tell you.” he takes another breath and continues. “Blake was the girl I shared the bed with. And nothing happened. Honestly. We just shared a bed. All of us could hear what was going on with Jakub’s, but the rest of us were just there, lying down. Some of the boys were startled, but in general, we were…” he shrugs.

“Right.”

Your frustration is more than apparent, but he forces himself to continue. “The next day we had that Villa x Villa challenge, and according to Hope, you saw me, kissing Blake.”

“Yeah…. I did.”

“The oldest boy had to kiss one of the girls. It was just for the challenge.”

“That’s what I told the girls.” Your voice comes out dry as you wince.

“You did?”

“Yes, I didn’t even think about it too much. In Casa Amor, there was a guy named Carl, he was twenty nine and he was the one to get the text. I just… did the math.”

“Oh.” he looks at you, deflated. “I thought you were mad about that.”

“No. I get it. We had a bunch of challenges, and we won.” you shrug.

“Anyway. That night we got a message, it was only a video. I mentioned this before, but you were there, whispering in the guy’s ear. I was so angry…” a vein pulses on his temple and his neck shade turns into crimson, slowly. “I remember throwing the phone on the other side of the room…” his lips twist as he rubs his own knee, a little too hard, luring wide eyes from you. “Yeah, not very mature, but I was mad. Bobby told me, even if we didn’t know each other for that long, you would never hurt me, or cheat on me. You went through that before, and you know how much it hurts.”

Lucas’ gaze stays on yours. “I believed him. I did... But I couldn’t sleep that night.”

“So, what happened next?”

“The boys and I were outside for a while. They went to bed, but I stayed up. I was pacing the lawn, I’d sit on the daybeds, sit by the pool, go to the kitchen. I just couldn’t… relax. And after a while, Blake came to talk to me that night.”

“Please, babe…” you bite your inner lip, slowly retracting your hand from his,

“Let me tell you… she said she was into me. I didn’t respond, I just told her to go to bed, and we’d talk in the morning.” He pauses as he sees you, resting your chin on your fist and your cheeks blushing while you grind your teeth. “I didn’t have strong feelings for her, I really didn’t. But then, in the morning, I talked to the boys for a while, especially Noah. He was… really hurt. Hope, in that video, was going at it, you know?”

“Funny how I don’t remember that happening!”

“Well, the video looked like that, and I wasn’t there, so I didn’t know. Noah and I were worried… actually, more than worried, we were desperate, and a little pissed off. I thought for sure you were going to switch. Because in my head, I…” He pauses again, looking at the ripples of the water. “In my head I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“What?” you raise your head to look at him, his eyes roaming on the small waves on the pool surface.

“I’m not talking about looks, or career or money… I’m talking about from… emotional aspect.” His thumbs rub his eyes as he, again, forces himself to continue. “I knew exactly what kind of girl you were once we got to know each other. We lived 24 hours in the same house… so, I knew you were fun, smart, hot. But I also knew you cared, you wanted something real. And as for me…” he hesitates, licking his lips. “I didn’t know how to offer that. I’ve been in relationships before, and they ended badly, because I don’t know how to give someone what they want.”

“Ooh, there’s a joke there, but I’m gonna save it for later.”

He shoots you a look from the corner of his eyes, shaking his head. “The point is, I thought, you, in your heart, knew I couldn’t offer more than just fun. That you were thinking I couldn’t be serious about us, even though I was trying. I was trying. I’m awful at that! I’m awful at committing to someone and sticking to them. I’m loyal to my friends, but I don’t think I ever loved someone so much, to the point of giving everything. Trusting them to give my everything.”

“You mean… being vulnerable?”

“Yeah.” He cradles his head in his hands, lacing his fingers on the back of his hair. “Exactly. I don’t… I don’t like that for me. I don’t like being weak, or to look weak. That does not suit me. And even though, deep down, I knew you were loyal, I thought you’d find someone better. Someone… available, that could give the relationship you wanted. That you deserved.”

You narrow your eyes as you respond with resolution. “So, you switched, in the case that I switched too, because you thought that I thought you were not good enough for me? Is that what you’re saying?”

Lucas nods with low brows. “Unfortunately, yes. I was a complete tool, because I thought you wanted to hurt me. And that’s my problem. I didn’t… I didn’t believe I deserved you, and I didn’t think you liked me so much, to the point of not going with someone else.”

Your voice bolts from your chest. “So, you decided to switch to “upside down” version of me?”

He stifles a laugh, looking back to see if anyone is eavesdropping. “I wanted you to feel what I was feeling at the time. I could picture you walking through those doors, holding hands with some other guy...” a sharp exhale escapes his mouth. “You just know he would be a jerk… with a huge grin on his face!” His face reddens a little and he puts a fist on his lips, taking a deep breath.

“You know you sound a little crazy, right?”

“I know! I know that, but… I couldn’t help being jealous. I know you don’t appreciate that. That’s why I tried holding it together when Henrik came back. When he took you on that date… when he was grafting on you… I...”

You raise a hand, stopping him. “So, you liked me, but thought I didn’t like you enough, because I knew you were not relationship material? Is that… what happened?”

“Yes.”

You raise your brows, taking one hand to cover your mouth. “Wow.”

“I don’t know if this was clear enough.”

“Oh! It was… enlightening... you basically just told me that you already had strong feelings for me but were emotionally unavailable. At the first hiccup, you went cray-cray and tried to patch an inexistent hole, putting me and you in danger of getting dumped, because you were insecure. Am I getting closer?”

“Babe, I just…”

“No, no, no! Lucas, listen. The whole Blake thing was a lot, it was! But when you told me you switched because you didn’t trust me, that… that was…” you lick your lips, angrily, taking a deep, long breath.

“So, you…”

“I’m not finished!” your voice startles him, to the point he shuts his mouth, watching you unveil. “Listen. I forgave you for a reason. You think I didn’t know what I was walking into? You’ve always had trust issues. You told me before you cheated on someone… and like you said, we lived in the same place for a month, 24 hours a day. I saw how hard it was for you to open up to anyone. To trust people. It wasn’t even deep levels sometimes. But I… I fell for you... and I wouldn’t go away because your trust issues put you in a bad place.”

“So, you mean…”

“I forgave you because I liked you too much to let go. If you needed someone to show you what trust means, I wanted to be that person. You had to see firsthand what trust looks like, and maybe, learn from it. All the girls told me you’d probably switch, because you were not that into me…”

“And I did.”

“And since the moment I saw Blake, I thought to myself it was because of your issues. I didn’t even know if it was true, I just wanted to believe in that… it’s not better, but when the boys told me you weren’t even that into her, I just…” you trail off, rubbing your palms. “and when I chose to save you, and you walked away from her, just like that, not even glancing back, I…”

“I didn’t care about her, at all.”

“I know that. You simply walked away, stood next to me, without even thinking. For a split second there, I kind of pitied her. But then she opened her mouth…” you trail off again, luring a smile from him. “The point is… you proved yourself after that. Enough for me to give you a chance. And when Henrik came along, I think it was even a bigger test than Elisa and Jo.”

“Why is that?”

“Because…” you chuckle. “You could’ve been jealous, to the point of trying to hurt me with another girl. Like you did with Blake... but you trusted me. You talked to him about the whole harassing thing, but you didn’t throw hands…” You share a laugh. “I think that moment was probably when you realized that you deserve good things, and for once, you didn’t sabotage yourself. You told me what was going on, and even though Henrik was right there the whole time, you decided to put your money on our relationship… and it paid off… we have a real shot here.”

He looks down, smiling, trying to look away, so you don’t see it. “You think you’ve got me all figured out, huh?”

“I mean, you have to admit, I’m pretty good at it. Mate, I’m better than Marisol.”

He shakes his head, smiling and puts his thumb on your cheek. “It’s true, though. I didn’t think I was deserving of you. That I could keep a woman like you, without fucking everything up. And I’m sorry.” Lucas gives you a tender look, hiss thumb gazing at your temple. “I really am. There’s no way of going back, but if I knew you and myself the way I do now, things would be way different. I assure you.”

“I guess we are… overdue on this conversation, but it’s a good thing to leave it where it belongs.”

“I agree. I didn’t want to leave, before saying all of this. It wouldn’t be fair. I know I hurt you, and I regret a lot more than I let it show. And this is me apologizing to you, because…” he rests his forehead on yours, lowering his voice. “I love you.”

“Aw…” You let out a scornful sound, pouting.

“You’re such a jerk…” he shakes his head, muttering as he chuckles, under his breath.

Your hands cup his jaw, turning him to face you, your gazes locked. An involuntary grin spreads across his lips and he embraces you, his arms around your waist. Chest to chest, you can feel his heart thumping and his voice, low.

“Let’s get out of here.”

He gets up, holding his shoes with one hand and offering you the other, nodding to the gates. You take it, walking towards the exit.

As you see the other islanders, you wave at them, they gesture back, raising a glass to you as you leave.

A few of the islanders whistle between their fingers, chanting your name and Lucas’, while others scowl.

It only makes your smile grow.

You can breathe at ease now, as you step out of the entrance, ready to go.

With one last glance, you and Lucas share a smile, hopping in the car. The hallway that leads to the lawn is filled with your friends, waving, as you leave, the car pulling away.


End file.
